Muslim Love for Domestic Violence

Survey finds deeply regressive views of women among large majorities of Muslim men

03 May 2017

National Secular Society

A large-scale survey of views in Egypt, Lebanon, Morocco and Palestine has reported extensive anti-women views and widespread tolerance of domestic violence.

The three countries and Palestine were selected to be broadly representative and "to reflect the diversity of the region".

The report's authors said they wanted to "provide a more nuanced view of men in the Middle East and North Africa" following gang rapes committed by young Middle Eastern and North African men in Tahrir Square and Cologne.

Unsurprisingly their data found that clear majorities of men in these overwhelmingly Muslim-majority countries held anti-women views, and had deeply regressive opinions about the role of women in society.

The report, produced by International Men and Gender Equality Survey (IMAGES) found that "The majority of Egyptian men consider it their duty to protect the honour of women and girls in their family, and nearly three-fifths agree with honour killing in some circumstances. More than 90 per cent of men saw male honour as directly contingent on their female relatives' dress and behaviour".

Just 45% of Egyptian men believed there should be laws "criminalizing domestic violence, including marital rape." And only 70% of Egyptian women agreed with this statement.

43% of Egyptian Muslim men said they would approve of their son having multiple wives, though just 9.5% said they would approve of their daughter marrying a man who already had other wives.

Only 6.6% of unmarried men said they "have no problem with marrying someone of a different religion", and a tiny 2.3% of unmarried Egyptian women said the same.

Just 39% of Egyptian men approved of women serving as leaders of political parties, though 93% said they should be able to vote.

60% of Moroccan men said "if a woman is raped, she should marry her rapist."

62% of Moroccan men said "a woman should tolerate violence to keep the family together", and 38% agreed "there are times when a woman deserves to be beaten". Shockingly, 20% of Moroccan women agreed with this.

The report collected anecdotes and accounts from men and women across the four countries surveyed, including many accounts of domestic violence.

One young woman living in Cairo said her husband apologised for beating her and she went back to him, and now "The beating decreased, and now he beats me slightly if we disagree. But before, he used to beat me 'till my face and body became blue. But now things are better."

The report's authors said, "While a majority of men surveyed in the four countries support a wide array of inequitable, traditional attitudes; a sizable minority of men in the four countries acknowledge and support women's equality in many aspects of public and private life."

Beating wives reminds women who rules the house and encourages them to wear sexy outfits during ‘make-up sex’ to make amends, declares Turkish marriage guide

•    'Marriage and Family Life' says beating a woman is like 'medicine'
•    It was published in two areas of Turkey and 'has not received any complaints'
•    Politicians from the opposition party, CHP, have slammed the book saying it defines women as 'sexual slaves'

Daily Mail
9 January 2017

A shocking book that says husbands can beat their wives and women should wear sexy outfits to make amends with their spouses is being handed out in parts of Turkey.

The book, called 'Marriage and Family Life' by Hasan Çalışkan, a former employee of the Office of Religious Affairs called Diyanet, has been slammed by Turkish politicians for the controversial 'advice' it offers to couples.

Some of the appalling statements that were written in the book include:

•    'A woman who does not beautify herself for her husband, and who does not obey the headmanship of the man can be beaten; this would remind her of the ruler of the house, which is like medicine' 
•    'Polygamy is beneficial. Would it not be better if, instead of divorcing his bad-tempered wife and making her a trouble for another man, the man took a second wife, prompting her feelings of competition, and eventually bringing her down?' 

Other shocking statements made in the 'education manual' include children as young as 10 can get married, women should not work as it 'badly influences' the woman's 'sexual duties' to her spouse and women should not speak during sex as it could lead to a child being born with a speech impediment.

The 394 page publication was reportedly handed out to people in the city of Kütahya, about 200 miles south of Istanbul, by Kutahya council.

A similar version of the manuscript, called 'Marriage and Privacy' was also issued by Pamukkale city council in south west Turkey.

Members of the main opposition, CHP Republican People's Party, have called the book 'irrational', 'unconscionable' and 'depicts woman as second-class citizens and defines them as sexual slaves'.

It was brought to the attention of the Grand Assembly by CHP deputy, Fatma Kaplan Hurriyet.

According to Sol International, she said: 'This is an irrational, unconscionable book that considers women as sheep, by saying the "the man is the shepherd of the family". My hairs stood on end as I continued to read it.'

The leader of the party, Zeliha Aksaz Sahbaz, added the book 'depicts women as second-class citizens and defines them as sexual slaves'.

The Education Minister İsmet Yılmaz described the publication as 'primitive and non-scientific'.

But the mayor of Kutahya, Kamil Saracoglu, said the council, who has been handing out the books since 2014, had not received any complaints about the book until last month.

According to, a statement published on Kutahya council's website from the mayor said: 'We do not publish this book as a municipality, we buy it from a bookshop and give it as a gift to the marriage.

'The contents of the book are open to interpretation. The verse consists of works based on hadith [reports from the Islamic prophet Muhammad] and scientific research.'

Husband held in killing of Iraqi-American woman

By By ELLIOT SPAGAT, Associated Press – October 10, 2012

EL CAJON, Calif. (AP) — The husband of an Iraqi-American woman whose beating death initially appeared to be a hate crime was arrested on suspicion of murder in what police described Friday as an act of domestic violence.

The killing of 32-year-old Shaima Alawadi drew international attention in March when the couple's 17-year-old daughter told reporters that she found a note by her mother's bludgeoned body that read: "Go back to your country, you terrorist."

Kassim Alhimidi, 48, was taken into custody Thursday after being called into the police station, said El Cajon Police Chief Jim Redman.

Police said there were no other suspects. Redman declined to comment on the evidence or elaborate on a possible motive.

"Criminal investigations build, evidence builds, and you reach a point where you have enough evidence to move forward, and that's what happened in this case," he said.

Alhimidi went to Iraq for about two weeks to bury his wife and returned voluntarily, Redman said. Police did not try to prevent him from leaving the country because he was not a suspect at the time.

At the burial in Najaf, relatives wept uncontrollably. Alhimidi and the 17-year-old daughter, Fatima, fainted as the body was lowered into the grave.

Kassim Alhimidi was publicly silent for six days after the body was found, while his children spoke often with reporters. In his first public remarks — made at a news conference at the family's mosque in Lakeside — he demanded to know what motivated the killer.

"The main question we would like to ask is what are you getting out of this and why did you do it?" Alhimidi said in Arabic as his 15-year-old son translated.
Alhimidi also urged anyone with information to contact law enforcement and thanked the Iraqi government for flying his wife's body to Iraq. He declined to answer reporters' questions.

Charges against Alhimidi were expected to be filed Tuesday, said Tanya Sierra, a spokeswoman for the San Diego County district attorney's office. She declined to specify the charges and didn't know if Alhimidi had an attorney.

The killing shocked residents of El Cajon, an east San Diego suburb and home to one of the largest enclaves of Iraqi immigrants in the United States.

Police initially said the threatening note meant they had to consider the killing a possible hate crime but stressed that was only one theory. They said there was other evidence and that the slaying was an isolated case, easing concerns that other immigrants could be targets.

A son told reporters at the time that another threatening note was taped to the family's front door shortly before the killing but they decided against going to police, figuring it was a prank.

Alawadi, a mother of five, left Iraq in the early 1990s after a failed Shiite uprising. She lived in Saudi Arabian refugee camps before coming to the U.S., according to Imam Husham Al-Husainy of the Karbalaa Islamic Education Center in Dearborn, Mich. Saddam's troops hanged Alawadi's uncle.

The family arrived in the Detroit area in 1993 and later moved to San Diego. Shaima Alawadi was a religious Shiite Muslim who wore a hijab.

Alawadi's father, Sayed Nabeel Alawadi, is a cleric in Iraq, Al-Husainy, a close family friend, said shortly after the killing.

The investigation appeared to hit a snag when a court employee inadvertently gave a U-T San Diego reporter a search warrant affidavit that a judge ordered sealed. In a court employee inadvertently gave t said detectives found a text message sent from the 17-year-old daughter's cellphone that read, "The detective will find out tell them cnt talk."

The investigation appeared to hit a snag when a court employee inadvertently gave a U-T San Diego reporter a search warrant affidavit that a judge had ordered sealed. The document said detectives found a text message sent from the 17-year-old daughter's cellphone that read, "The detective will find out tell them cnt talk."

The affidavit, which was released to the newspaper while the family was in Iraq for the burial, showed Fatima Alawadi was upset about a pending arranged marriage to a cousin. She told police that she was in her bedroom when she heard her mother squeal and glass break.

The affidavit also said Alawadi wanted to get a divorce and move to Texas.
Redman said detectives were in contact with Kassim Alhimidi during the investigation. The police chief declined to say what authorities told him when they asked him to come to the police station Thursday.

Redman said he never doubted that Alhimidi would return from Iraq after burying his wife.

"We believe he came back because he lives here," he said.

Hanif Mohebi, executive director of the Council on American Islamic Relations' San Diego chapter, said Alhimidi is innocent until proven guilty but that "domestic violence has no place in our faith at all."

CAIR was initially alarmed by the possibility of a hate crime but soon urged patience to allow police time to complete its investigation. The police chief said Friday that he worked closely with CAIR, the Muslim Public Affairs Council and local mosques to keep an "open dialogue" with the Muslim community.