MUSLIM SERMON - BEWARE OF JOKING TOO MUCH
المزاح
Summary
1) The circumstances under which joking is dispraised.
2) The circumstances under which joking is prohibited.
3) How the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam would joke.
4) How his companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, joke.
5) Joking with ones’ family.
A Muslim is naturally expected to be serious, as he was not created for
the purpose of joking and amusement. When joking diverts a person from
the purpose of their creation, which is to worship Allaah, it becomes
dispraised. Another reason to make joking dispraised is when it is
excessive and makes a person laugh too much which in turn leads to the
heart becoming hardened; the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam
said: “Do not laugh too much because excessive laughter kills your
heart.” (Tirmidhi, Ibn Maajah & Ahmad). Waheeb Ibn Al-Ward looked
at some people as they where laughing on the day of ‘Eid Al-Fitr and
remarked: “If Allaah has forgiven these people, then these are not the
actions of grateful people; If they were not forgiven, then these are
not the actions of those who are fearful.”
A Muslim requires his heart to be alive and tender; a heart which
heedlessness cannot find its way into, to be able to strongly execute
his struggle against Satan. Excessive joking will lead his heart to
such heedlessness. Satan pledged to distract man and misguide him, as
Allaah says that which translates as: “Iblees [Satan] said [To Allaah]:
By Your might, I will surely mislead them all. Except, among them, Your
chosen servants.”(Saad: 82-83).
Moreover, we must know that heedlessness is a characteristic of the
disbelievers. Allaah says that which translates as: “Then woe, that
Day, to the deniers. Who are in [empty] discourse amusing themselves.”
(At-Toor: 11-12). “So leave them to converse vainly and amuse
themselves until they meet their Day which they are promised.”
(Az-Zukhruf: 83). “Then leave them in their [empty] discourse, amusing
themselves.” (Al-An’aam: 91),
Then, on the Day of Judgement, the disbelievers will be asked that
which translates as: “What put you into Saqar [i.e., Hellfire].”
(Al-Muddaththir: 42), they will reply with that which translates as:
“…We used to enter into vain discourse with those who engaged [in it].”
(Al-Muddaththir: 45).
Our righteous predecessors seriously warned against this type
heedlessness, Abu Ya’laa used to say: “Are you laughing while your
funeral-shroud may be being prepared?” Muhammad Ibn Waasi’ asked some
people: “If you saw a man in Paradise crying, would you be surprised?”
they replied ‘Yes’, he said: “The one who laughs in this life,
not knowing what his consequence is in the next one, is more surprising
than that.”
Excessive joking makes one lose their dignity and even the foolish
people around the one joking will eventually despise them. ‘Umar, may
Allaah be pleased with him, said: “He who jokes, people will despise
him.” Muhammad Ibn Al-Munkadir said: “My mother once told me: son,
don’t joke with children for that will make you lose your dignity.”
Sa’eed Ibn Al-‘Aas said: “Don’t joke with a noble man because he will
hate you, or an inferior man because he will humiliate you.”
Husayn Ibn ‘Abdur-Rahmaan said: “We were told that joking removes one’s
dignity and breaks friendships.”
In addition, joking could cause hatred to enter the hearts, as ‘Umar
Ibn ‘Abdul Azeez, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “Fear Allaah
and don’t joke because it causes hatred and would make an inferior
person despise you. Instead, talk about Qur’aanic verses and discuss
them, if this is difficult, then at least carry out a decent manly
conversation”. Khaalid Ibn Safwaan said: “People used to say,
everything has its seed, and the seed of enmity is joking.”
Joking becomes prohibited and not only dispraised when it involves Islamically unlawful behaviour such as:
Scaring Muslims: Some of the Prophet’s companions, may Allaah be
pleased with them, were once on a trip with the Prophet sallallaahu
‘alaihi wa sallam and one of them was sleeping. A group of the
companions took some of the sleeping ones arrows, which he kept for
self defence, and hid them. When he woke up, he was frightened, due to
losing them, so they started laughing. Thereupon, the Prophet
sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam asked them: “What makes you laugh?” they
replied: “Nothing, its just that we took this man’s arrows and that
scared him.” Thereupon, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said:
“It is not lawful for a Muslim to scare his fellow Muslim.” (Ahmad
& Abu Daawood). He sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam also said: “Don’t
take your brother’s stick, whether jokingly or seriously. If one of you
finds his brother’s stick, then let him return it to him” (Ahmad &
Abu Daawood).
Lying while joking: The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said:
“Woe to the one who tells lies to make people laugh, woe to him, woe to
him” (Tirmidhi, Abu Daawood & Daarimi). He sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa
sallam also said: “A slave would utter a word meaning no harm except
wanting to make people laugh, and it would cause him to go down in Hell
as far as the distance between the Heavens and the earth.”(Ahmad) Abu
Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that people said to
the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam: “You joke with us.” He
sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam replied: “I do but I only say that which
is true” (Tirmidhi & Ahmad). Abu Umaamah, may Allaah be pleased
with him, narrated that the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said:
“I guarantee an abode within the boundary of Paradise for the one who
refrains from arguing even if he was correct; and an abode in the
middle of Paradise for the one who abandons lying even in jest; and an
abode in the sublime part of Paradise for the one whose manners are
honourable.” (Abu Daawood).
Joking that may cause harm to others: Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be
pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa
sallam said: “None of you should point his weapon at his brother, as
Satan may provoke him (to hurt his brother) and as a result, he would
fall into a pit of Fire.” (Bukhaari). In another narration, he
sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said: “He who (even) points at his
brother with a piece of iron is cursed by the angels until he puts it
down, even if the other was his blood brother.” (Muslim).
Joking which includes transgressing the limits of Allaah: Joking could
exceed the limits to reach to a point of committing major and heinous
sins, like mocking Qur’aanic verses, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa
sallam, Islamic rules or Muslim scholars - just like the hypocrites did
on the day of the battle of Tabook when they mocked the Prophet
sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam and his companions; due to this Allaah
revealed the verses which translate as: “And if you ask them, they will
surely say: ‘We were only conversing and playing.’ Say, ‘Is it Allaah
and His verses and His Messenger that you were mocking?’ Make no
excuse; you have disbelieved [i.e., rejected faith] after your belief.”
(At-Tawbah: 65-66). Allaah warned us from even sitting with such people
as He said that which translates as: “And when you see those who engage
in [offensive] discourse concerning Our verses, then turn away from
them until they enter into another conversation. And if Satan should
cause you to forget, then do not remain after the reminder with the
wrongdoing people.” (Al-An’aam: 86). He also says that which translates
as: “And it has already come down to you in the Book [i.e., the
Qur’aan] that when you hear the verses of Allaah [recited], they are
denied [by them] and ridiculed; so do not sit with them until they
enter into another conversation. Indeed, you would then be like them.
Indeed, Allaah will gather the hypocrites and disbelievers in Hell all
together.” (An-Nisaa’: 140).
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam used to joke, and there are
many examples for this, so this certainly indicates that joking is
lawful, provided it does not contain any of the prohibitions mentioned.
Jaabir, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “Whenever the Prophet
sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam would receive revelation or preach to us,
I would think to myself, due to his appearance: ‘he is warning
people against a punishment that will definitely befall them’. But,
when that was finished, you would see that he had the happiest and most
cheerful face, which was his nature.” (Al-Bazzaar).
The Prophet’s joking was not merely for entertainment, but would
include teachings and instructions for his companions. The Prophet
sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam would joke at different times for
different reasons:
For the purpose of endearment, there are many stories that illustrate this point:
“Once, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam went to visit Suhayb,
may Allaah be pleased with him, when he was sick with an eye ailment.
When he entered Suhayb, may Allaah be pleased with him, was eating
dates, so the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said to him,
jokingly: “Are you eating dates while you have a sore eye!” he replied:
‘I’m using the other eye to see.’ Thereupon, the Prophet sallallaahu
‘alaihi wa sallam smiled.” (Ibn Maajah).
Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that a man came to the
Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam and said: “Give me an animal to
ride on” the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam replied: “I will
give you the son of a female camel” the man said with astonishment:
“What could I do with the son of a female camel?” (i.e., thinking that
he would be given a camel too small to ride). Thereupon, the Messenger
of Allaah sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam replied: “What do female camels
deliver except camels?” (i.e., that every camel, even if it is fully
grown, is the product of a female camel). (Abu Daawood &
Tirmidhi).
‘Awf Ibn Maalik, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, “I went to the
Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam during the battle of Tabook while
he was in a leather Qubbah (a small tent-like structure used for
sitting in before war). I greeted him with Salaam and he sallallaahu
‘alaihi wa sallam responded and said: “Come inside” I said, ‘O
Messenger of Allaah, all of me?’ he sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam
replied: “All of you” so I entered” (Ahmad & Abu Daawood).
‘Uthmaan Ibn Abi Al-‘Ataakah commented that ‘Awf Ibn Maalik asked this
question because the Qubbah was very small’.
Ka’b Ibn Murrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “I heard the
Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam saying, “Shoot at the enemy;
Allaah will elevate he who shoots and his arrow reaches the enemy, by
raising him by one step in Paradise” Ibn An-Namaam, may Allaah be
pleased with him, asked: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, what is this step?’ he
sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam replied with humour: “It is definitely
not like your mothers doorstep; Indeed the distance between two steps
in Paradise is one hundred years”” (An-Nasaa’i & Ahmad).
Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated: “There was a Bedouin
named Zaahir whom the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam loved and
he was ugly. One day the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam
approached him from behind as he was selling some merchandise and
hugged him and teased him saying: “Who would buy this slave (i.e.,
Zaahir)” Zaahir replied: ‘You would not get much for someone like
me’ the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said: “But you are
precious in the sight of Allaah.” (Ahmad).
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam would also comfort his
companions and cheer them up, as Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him,
narrated: “The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam once saw my young
brother extremely upset, so he sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam
asked: “Why do I see Abu ‘Umayr (a fond nickname that he gave
him) so sad?” the people replied ‘His bird has died.’ So he sallallaahu
‘alaihi wa sallam said comfortingly: “O Abu ‘Umayr what happened to
your bird?”” (Ahmad).
Joking to reform the companions: “Khawwaat Ibn Jubayr Al-Ansaari was
sitting with some women from the tribe of Banu Ka’b on the road leading
to Makkah listening to their talk. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa
sallam came across him there and asked him: “O Abu ‘Abdullaah, what are
you doing setting with these ladies?” He replied: ‘I lost my camel and
came looking for it’ (as a false excuse). The Prophet sallallaahu
‘alaihi wa sallam left him and went to take care of some affairs. After
a while he sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam returned and teased him
saying: “O Abu ‘Abdullaah, has your camel given up running away from
you yet?” Khawwaat said: ‘I was embarrassed and kept silent, and was
avoiding him after that (because the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa
sallam realised that Khawwaat was just trying to justify his sitting
with the women), until we went back to Madeenah when he saw me in the
mosque while I was praying, so he sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam sat
down next to me waiting for me to finish my prayer. Due to this, I
prolonged my prayer, he sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said: “Don’t
prolong your prayer as I awaiting for you” so I finished my prayer,
then he sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said teasing me again:, “O Abu
‘Abdullaah, has your camel given up running away from you yet?” I was
embarrassed and kept silent, so he stood up and left and kept avoiding
him until one day he sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam saw me while he was
riding his donkey and said: “O Abu ‘Abdullaah, has your camel given up
running away from you yet?” So I replied: I swear by Him Who sent you
with the truth, my camel has never run away from me since I became a
Muslim’ (i.e., confessing to his sin which the Prophet sallallaahu
‘alaihi wa sallam was trying to teach him to do by his joke) so the
Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said: “Allaahu Akbar, Allaahu
Akbar, O Allaah, guide Abu ‘Abdullaah. After this, Khawwaat Ibn
Jubayr Al-Ansaari became a much better Muslim”. (Tabaraani)
The companions of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam were the
most serious of people and the least heedless of Allaahs commands, yet
they used to joke. Bukhaari mentioned in his book Al-Adab Al-Mufrad,
“The companions used to play with one another by throwing watermelon
skins at each other, but when it was time for seriousness, they where
real men”. Ibn Sireen was asked about the companions, “Did they joke?”
he replied: “They were just like normal people (i.e. yes they did)”.
Abu Salamah Ibn ‘Abur-Rahmaan said, describing the companions: “The
companions never exaggerated in seriousness, nor were they heedless;
they used to recite poetry in their gatherings and mention some
incidents which took place during their pre-Islamic period and laugh,
but if they saw any action against Islaam, they would become furious.”
(Ibn Abu Shaybah).
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam used to joke with his wives
and children. ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, narrated: “The
Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam went on one of his trips and I
accompanied him; he told his companions: “proceed ahead” while he and I
lagged behind, then he said to me: “Let us race” so we did and I won -
and he did not say anything. After some time, when I became heavier in
weight, I went with him on another trip, and I had forgotten about the
race. He sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam told his companions, “proceed
ahead” while he and I lagged behind, then he said to me: “Let us race”
so we did and he won and started laughing and said, “This one makes up
for the first time” (Ahmad).
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said: “The best among you is
the best in dealing with their family - and I am the best among you in
dealing with their family”
‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, was asked: “How was the
Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam when he was alone with his
wives?” she replied: “He was just like any other man, except that he
was the most kind, gentle and cheerful of them.”
“The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam used to line up the children
of Bani Al-‘Abbaas and others and say, “Race towards me, and whoever
wins will get something” so they would race towards him and he would
roll over on the ground and the children would climb on his chest and
roll on his back; and he would hug and kiss them.’’ (Ahmad).
‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said: “The Messenger of
Allaah sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam was in my house and Sawdah,
another of his wives, was there also. I had made some food, served it
and asked Sawdah to eat it. She replied: ‘I don’t want it’. I said ‘I
swear by Allaah that either you will eat or I will cover your face in
it.’ She replied: ‘I will not taste it’. So I took some of the food in
my hand from the plate and splashed it on her face, while the Prophet
sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam was sitting between us. The Prophet
sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam lowered his legs so that I could not get
at Sawdah, then she took a portion of the food and covered my face in
it. During all this, Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam was
laughing.” (Abu Ya’laa).