Mormon Divorce
Why Mormon Divorces Cause Trouble For Some Couples
kutv.com – channel 2 news
February 15, 2008
SALT
LAKE CITY - When nonreligious couples
get divorced, typically the court documents signify the end of it. When Mormons
divorce, there are typically post-split issues that continue to hound many
couples.
The LDS Church preaches family togetherness and eternal marriage, but when one
of the unions based on the faith falls apart it often creates challenges that
ordinary couples do not face.
For example, LDS couples who divorce are often unsure where they fit in the
church because of the split. Mormon teachings advocate unions that last for all
of human life -- and into what the church calls "eternity," or the afterlife.
If a couple fails to meet the former benchmark, they often feel disenfranchised.
"They don't feel like they have a place in the church anymore... and a lot of
them leave the church," said Jennifer James, a therapist who experienced an LDS
divorce. "I think we tend to fly in the face of the mantra that families are
forever."
James says that the community surrounding a split LDS couple often doesn't know
how to react as well.
"The culture treats us as if we really are an embarrassment," she said.
It really doesn't matter to some in the faith that Mormon marriages often fall
apart for many of the same reasons nonreligious marriages do. One thing
that might separate LDS couples apart, however, is the faith's cultural emphasis
on quick courtships and marrying young -- in some cases, too young.
"They really think it's all going to work out some way magically... and of
course, it doesn't," James said.
As a therapist, James has written several books on the subject of LDS divorces
and actively conducts workshops on the issue. In her experience, she says often
times what Mormon couples benefit from is pre-marital counseling and
post-breakup support.
Most of the time, James says, there is a need for more understanding when a
union that was supposed to last forever comes to a sudden end.
"Everyone makes mistakes and you learn from them and move forward into
successful relationships," James said.
MORE:
LDS Broken Wings - A website about Mormon relationships