Mormon History
Mark Twain on the BOM - 1861
"I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it." Page 85
All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the "elect" have
seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought
away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is
such a pretentious affair, and yet so "slow," so sleepy; such an
insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If
Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle--keeping awake
while he did it was, at any rate. If he, according to tradition,
merely translated it from certain ancient and mysteriously-engraved
plates of copper, which he declares he found under a stone, in an
out-of-the-way locality, the work of translating was equally a miracle,
for the same reason.
The book seems to be merely a prosy detail of imaginary history, with
the Old Testament for a model; followed by a tedious plagiarism of the
New Testament. The author labored to give his words and phrases
the quaint, old-fashioned sound and structure of our King James's
translation of the Scriptures; and the result is a mongrel--half modern
glibness, and half ancient simplicity and gravity. The latter is
awkward and constrained; the former natural, but grotesque by the
contrast. Whenever he found his speech growing too modern--which
was about every sentence or two—he ladled in a few such Scriptural
phrases as "exceeding sore," "and it came to pass," etc., and made
things satisfactory again. "And it came to pass" was his
pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would have been only a
pamphlet.
The title-page reads as follows:
THE BOOK OF MORMON: AN ACCOUNT WRITTEN BY THE HAND OF MORMON, UPON PLATES TAKEN FROM THE PLATES OF NEPHI.
Wherefore it is an abridgment of the record of the people of Nephi, and
also of the Lamanites; written to the Lamanites, who are a remnant of
the House of Israel; and also to Jew and Gentile; written by way of
commandment, and also by the spirit of prophecy and of
revelation. Written and sealed up, and hid up unto the Lord, that
they might not be destroyed; to come forth by the gift and power of God
unto the interpretation thereof; sealed by the hand of Moroni, and hid
up unto the Lord, to come forth in due time by the way of Gentile; the
interpretation thereof by the gift of God. An abridgment taken
from the Book of Ether also; which is a record of the people of Jared;
who were scattered at the time the Lord confounded the language of the
people when they were building a tower to get to Heaven.
"Hid up" is good. And so is "wherefore"--though why
"wherefore"? Any other word would have answered as
well--though--in truth it would not have sounded so Scriptural.
Next comes:
THE TESTIMONY OF THREE WITNESSES.
Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people unto whom
this work shall come, that we, through the grace of God the Father, and
our Lord Jesus Christ, have seen the plates which contain this record,
which is a record of the people of Nephi, and also of the Lamanites,
their brethren, and also of the people of Jared, who came from the
tower of which hath been spoken; and we also know that they have been
translated by the gift and power of God, for His voice hath declared it
unto us; wherefore we know of a surety that the work is true. And
we also testify that we have seen the engravings which are upon the
plates; and they have been shown unto us by the power of God, and not
of man. And we declare with words of soberness, that an angel of
God came down from heaven, and he brought and laid before our eyes,
that we beheld and saw the plates, and the engravings thereon; and we
know that it is by the grace of God the Father, and our Lord Jesus
Christ, that we beheld and bear record that these things are true; and
it is marvellous in our eyes; nevertheless the voice of the Lord
commanded us that we should bear record of it; wherefore, to be
obedient unto the commandments of God, we bear testimony of these
things. And we know that if we are faithful in Christ, we shall
rid our garments of the blood of all men, and be found spotless before
the judgment-seat of Christ, and shall dwell with Him eternally in the
heavens. And the honor be to the Father, and to the Son, and to
the Holy Ghost, which is one God. Amen.
OLIVER COWDERY,
DAVID WHITMER,
MARTIN HARRIS.
Some people have to have a world of evidence before they can come
anywhere in the neighborhood of believing anything; but for me, when a
man tells me that he has "seen the engravings which are upon the
plates," and not only that, but an angel was there at the time, and saw
him see them, and probably took his receipt for it, I am very far on
the road to conviction, no matter whether I ever heard of that man
before or not, and even if I do not know the name of the angel, or his
nationality either.
Next is this:
AND ALSO THE TESTIMONY OF EIGHT WITNESSES.
Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people unto whom
this work shall come, that Joseph Smith, Jr., the translator of this
work, has shown unto us the plates of which hath been spoken, which
have the appearance of gold; and as many of the leaves as the said
Smith has translated, we did handle with our hands; and we also saw the
engravings thereon, all of which has the appearance of ancient work,
and of curious workmanship. And this we bear record with words of
soberness, that the said Smith has shown unto us, for we have seen and
hefted, and know of a surety that the said Smith has got the plates of
which we have spoken. And we give our names unto the world, to
witness unto the world that which we have seen; and we lie not, God
bearing witness of it.
CHRISTIAN WHITMER,
JACOB WHITMER,
PETER WHITMER, JR.,
JOHN WHITMER,
HIRAM PAGE,
JOSEPH SMITH, SR.,
HYRUM SMITH,
SAMUEL H. SMITH.
And when I am far on the road to conviction, and eight men, be they
grammatical or otherwise, come forward and tell me that they have seen
the plates too; and not only seen those plates but "hefted" them, I am
convinced. I could not feel more satisfied and at rest if the
entire Whitmer family had testified.
The Mormon Bible consists of fifteen "books"--being the books of Jacob,
Enos, Jarom, Omni, Mosiah, Zeniff, Alma, Helaman, Ether, Moroni, two
"books" of Mormon, and three of Nephi.
In the first book of Nephi is a plagiarism of the Old Testament, which
gives an account of the exodus from Jerusalem of the "children of
Lehi"; and it goes on to tell of their wanderings in the wilderness,
during eight years, and their supernatural protection by one of their
number, a party by the name of Nephi. They finally reached the
land of "Bountiful," and camped by the sea. After they had
remained there "for the space of many days"--which is more Scriptural
than definite—Nephi was commanded from on high to build a ship wherein
to "carry the people across the waters." He travestied Noah's
ark--but he obeyed orders in the matter of the plan. He finished
the ship in a single day, while his brethren stood by and made fun of
it--and of him, too--"saying, our brother is a fool, for he thinketh
that he can build a ship." They did not wait for the timbers to
dry, but the whole tribe or nation sailed the next day. Then a
bit of genuine nature cropped out, and is revealed by outspoken Nephi
with Scriptural frankness--they all got on a spree! They, "and also
their wives, began to make themselves merry, insomuch that they began
to dance, and to sing, and to speak with much rudeness; yea, they were
lifted up unto exceeding rudeness."
Nephi tried to stop these scandalous proceedings; but they tied him
neck and heels, and went on with their lark. But observe how
Nephi the prophet circumvented them by the aid of the invisible powers:
And it came to pass that after they had bound me, insomuch that I could
not move, the compass, which had been prepared of the Lord, did cease
to work; wherefore, they knew not whither they should steer the ship,
insomuch that there arose a great storm, yea, a great and terrible
tempest, and we were driven back upon the waters for the space of three
days; and they began to be frightened exceedingly, lest they should be
drowned in the sea; nevertheless they did not loose me. And on
the fourth day, which we had been driven back, the tempest began to be
exceeding sore. And it came to pass that we were about to be
swallowed up in the depths of the sea.
Then they untied him.
And it came to pass after they had loosed me, behold, I took the
compass, and it did work whither I desired it. And it came to
pass that I prayed unto the Lord; and after I had prayed, the winds did
cease, and the storm did cease, and there was a great calm.
Equipped with their compass, these ancients appear to have had the advantage of Noah.
Their voyage was toward a "promised land"--the only name they give it.
They reached it in safety.
Polygamy is a recent feature in the Mormon religion, and was added by
Brigham Young after Joseph Smith's death. Before that, it was
regarded as an "abomination." This verse from the Mormon Bible
occurs in Chapter II. of the book of Jacob:
For behold, thus saith the Lord, this people begin to wax in iniquity;
they understand not the Scriptures; for they seek to excuse themselves
in committing whoredoms, because of the things which were written
concerning David, and Solomon his son. Behold, David and Solomon
truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before
me, saith the Lord; wherefore, thus saith the Lord, I have led this
people forth out of the land of Jerusalem, by the power of mine arm,
that I might raise up unto me a righteous branch from the fruit of the
loins of Joseph. Wherefore, I the Lord God, will no suffer that
this people shall do like unto them of old.
However, the project failed--or at least the modern Mormon end of
it—for Brigham "suffers" it. This verse is from the same chapter:
Behold, the Lamanites your brethren, whom ye hate, because of their
filthiness and the cursings which hath come upon their skins, are more
righteous than you; for they have not forgotten the commandment of the
Lord, which was given unto our fathers, that they should have, save it
were one wife; and concubines they should have none.
The following verse (from Chapter IX. of the Book of Nephi) appears to contain information not familiar to everybody:
And now it came to pass that when Jesus had ascended into heaven, the
multitude did disperse, and every man did take his wife and his
children, and did return to his own home.
And it came to pass that on the morrow, when the multitude was gathered
together, behold, Nephi and his brother whom he had raised from the
dead, whose name was Timothy, and also his son, whose name was Jonas,
and also Mathoni, and Mathonihah, his brother, and Kumen, and
Kumenenhi, and Jeremiah, and Shemnon, and Jonas, and Zedekiah, and
Isaiah; now these were the names of the disciples whom Jesus had chosen.
In order that the reader may observe how much more grandeur and
picturesqueness (as seen by these Mormon twelve) accompanied on of the
tenderest episodes in the life of our Saviour than other eyes seem to
have been aware of, I quote the following from the same "book"--Nephi:
And it came to pass that Jesus spake unto them, and bade them arise.
And they arose from the earth, and He said unto them. Blessed are ye
because of your faith. And now behold, My joy is full. And
when He had said these words, He wept, and the multitude bear record of
it, and He took their little children, one by one, and blessed them,
and prayed unto the Father for them. And when He had done this He
wept again, and He spake unto the multitude, and saith unto them,
Behold your little ones. And as they looked to behold, they cast
their eyes toward heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw
angels descending out of heaven as it were, in the midst of fire; and
they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were
encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them, and
the multitude did see and hear and bear record; and they know that
their record is true, for they all of them did see and hear, every man
for himself; and they were in number about two thousand and five
hundred souls; and they did consist of men, women, and children.
And what else would they be likely to consist of?
The Book of Ether is an incomprehensible medley of if "history," much
of it relating to battles and sieges among peoples whom the reader has
possibly never heard of; and who inhabited a country which is not set
down in the geography. These was a King with the remarkable name
of Coriantumr, and he warred with Shared, and Lib, and Shiz, and
others, in the "plains of Heshlon"; and the "valley of Gilgal"; and the
"wilderness of Akish"; and the "land of Moran"; and the "plains of
Agosh"; and "Ogath," and "Ramah," and the "land of Corihor," and the
"hill Comnor," by "the waters of Ripliancum," etc., etc., etc.
"And it came to pass," after a deal of fighting, that Coriantumr, upon
making calculation of his losses, found that "there had been slain two
millions of mighty men, and also their wives and their children"--say
5,000,000 or 6,000,000 in all--"and he began to sorrow in his
heart." Unquestionably it was time. So he wrote to Shiz,
asking a cessation of hostilities, and offering to give up his kingdom
to save his people. Shiz declined, except upon condition that
Coriantumr would come and let him cut his head off first--a thing which
Coriantumr would not do. Then there was more fighting for a
season; then four years were devoted to gathering the forces for a
final struggle--after which ensued a battle, which, I take it, is the
most remarkable set forth in history,--except, perhaps, that of the
Kilkenny cats, which it resembles in some respects. This is the
account of the gathering and the battle:
7. And it came to pass that they did gather together all the
people, upon all the face of the land, who had not been slain, save it
was Ether. And it came to pass that Ether did behold all the
doings of the people; and he beheld that the people who were for
Coriantumr, were gathered together to the army of Coriantumr; and the
people who were for Shiz, were gathered together to the army of Shiz;
wherefore they were for the space of four years gathering together the
people, that they might get all who were upon the face of the land, and
that they might receive all the strength which it was possible that
they could receive. And it came to pass that when they were all
gathered together, every one to the army which he would, with their
wives and their children; both men, women, and children being armed
with weapons of war, having shields, and breast-plates, and
head-plates, and being clothed after the manner of war, they did march
forth one against another, to battle; and they fought all that day, and
conquered not. And it came to pass that when it was night they
were weary, and retired to their camps; and after they had retired to
their camps, they took up a howling and a lamentation for the loss of
the slain of their people; and so great were their cries, their
howlings and lamentations, that it did rend the air exceedingly.
And it came to pass that on the morrow they did go again to battle, and
great and terrible was that day; nevertheless they conquered not, and
when the night came again, they did rend the air with their cries, and
their howlings, and their mournings, for the loss of the slain of their
people.
8. And it came to pass that Coriantumr wrote again an epistle
unto Shiz, desiring that he would not come again to battle, but that he
would take the kingdom, and spare the lives of the people. But
behold, the Spirit of the Lord had ceased striving with them, and Satan
had full power over the hearts of the people, for they were given up
unto the hardness of their hearts, and the blindness of their minds
that they might be destroyed; wherefore they went again to
battle. And it came to pass that they fought all that day, and
when the night came they slept upon their swords; and on the morrow
they fought even until the night came; and when the night came they
were drunken with anger, even as a man who is drunken with wine; and
they slept again upon their swords; and on the morrow they fought
again; and when the night came they had all fallen by the sword save it
were fifty and two of the people of Coriantumr, and sixty and nine of
the people of Shiz. And it came to pass that they slept upon
their swords that night, and on the morrow they fought again, and they
contended in their mights with their swords, and with their shields,
all that day; and when the night came there were thirty and two of the
people of Shiz, and twenty and seven of the people of Coriantumr.
9. And it came to pass that they ate and slept, and prepared for
death on the morrow. And they were large and mighty men, as to
the strength of men. And it came to pass that they fought for the
space of three hours, and they fainted with the loss of blood.
And it came to pass that when the men of Coriantumr had received
sufficient strength, that they could walk, they were about to flee for
their lives, but behold, Shiz arose, and also his men, and he swore in
his wrath that he would slay Coriantumr, or he would perish by the
sword: wherefore he did pursue them, and on the morrow he did overtake
them; and they fought again with the sword. And it came to pass
that when they had all fallen by the sword, save it were Coriantumr and
Shiz, behold Shiz had fainted with loss of blood. And it came to pass
that when Coriantumr had leaned upon his sword, that he rested a
little, he smote off the head of Shiz. And it came to pass that
after he had smote off the head of Shiz, that Shiz raised upon his
hands and fell; and after that he had struggled for breath, he
died. And it came to pass that Coriantumr fell to the earth, and
became as if he had no life. And the Lord spake unto Ether, and
said unto him, go forth. And he went forth, and beheld that the
words of the Lord had all been fulfilled; and he finished his record;
and the hundredth part I have not written.
It seems a pity he did not finish, for after all his dreary former
chapters of commonplace, he stopped just as he was in danger of
becoming interesting.
The Mormon Bible is rather stupid and tiresome to read, but there is
nothing vicious in its teachings. Its code of morals is
unobjectionable --it is "smouched" [Milton] from the New Testament and
no credit given.